Fall is a tricky beast. For me at least.
Yesterday I reminded Lily why she needs to be careful of wasps and bees in the fall, why they are more aggressive now: the cold weather triggers winter preparation and part of that preparation is kicking out the weak or worthless fellows so they don't use precious resources for the winter. Those critters in turn try and bring back gifts to the hive as a last ditch effort to convince the hive that they are worth keeping around. Their desperation is what makes them dangerous. Not being part of a family or group unit when the freeze comes is certain death for the individual, but keeping a weak link in the hive is detrimental to the survival of the unit.
This applies to people too, when they become desperate or lonely, they are also most aggressive and dangerous. The holidays compound this with glitter and twinkle lights. Wrap up isolation and heartache with a big red bow.
This year though, I am making a special effort to bring joy into focus and try and capture the sweet moments, the sugar plum dreams, and the wonderland of landscape.
As a special bonus, My ex will have the kids for most of the holidays and I will be writing like a madwoman in Vermont at the Studio Center. I've never been to this region of the United States, though it is a hop, skip, and a boat ride to Nova Scotia where my Arcadian fore-mothers once farmed. I may not be able to resist a weekend trip.
In the meantime, I am writing, packing, sorting, photographing moments, grading papers, and finding solace in the kitchen. I found some top of the line enameled cookware at a local swap shop and cooking is a joy again.